It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Erma Bombeck
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
Erma Bombeck
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises.
Erma Bombeck
My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.
Erma Bombeck
Limousines used to be reserved for the ruling class, or, on special occasions, for the working class. Today, limousines are like taxicabs with the door handles still intact.
Erma Bombeck
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck
There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in
Erma Bombeck
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Erma Bombeck
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Erma Bombeck
People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.
Erma Bombeck
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Erma Bombeck
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Erma Bombeck