Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend./ Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
Friendship Quotes
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Groucho Marx
A child of five would understand this. Send somebody to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
Groucho Marx
Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed.
Groucho Marx
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
Groucho Marx
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx
Funny Quotes
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Reading Quotes
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.