The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods; it remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain
There has never been an intelligent person of the age of sixty who would consent to live his life over again. His or anyone else's.
Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your judgments when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain
It is difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a congressman can.
Mark Twain
To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.
Mark Twain
Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
Mark Twain
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it. [About a politician who had recently died]
Mark Twain
Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Mark Twain
There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
Mark Twain
Friendship Quotes
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.