Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Phyllis Diller
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and "cheap"?
Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Phyllis Diller
Funny Quotes
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.