Quotemountain.com Famous Quotes It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.
-- Sir Edmund Hillary

Funny Quotes

You can't lead a cavalry if you think that you look funny riding a horse.

Funny Quotes

Funny how people despise platitudes, when they are usually the truest thing going. A thing has to be pretty true before it gets to be a platitude.

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It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.

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A rich man's joke is always funny.

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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

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Isn't it sad how some people can't be funny, so they have to settle for being obnoxious?

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Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown, and they only want you to make them laugh.

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Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny.

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A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

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Life could be so nice if it weren't for reality.

Funny Quotes ,  Life Quotes

Some things aren't funny. Beatings aren't funny. Stabbings aren't funny. Mimes aren't funny. But beating and stabbing a mime - why is that hilarious?

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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

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Statistics show that the older you are when you get married, the more likely it is you'll stay together. Of course, because at eighty-five you can't hear how boring he is.

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Things change when you get married. When I first got married, I would walk around the house with no clothes on. My husband would be like, "Baby, you look so good. Come here." He couldn't keep his hands off me. Now when I walk around the house with no clothes, he's like, "Ain't you cold?"

Funny Quotes